Unsteady Beginnings
by Looshk
Summary: Hayner has had the biggest crush on his best friend Roxas for as long as he can remember... Unfortunately young love can be tough and people aren't always what they seem.
1. Chapter 1

"Roxas... Roxas... I think about you all the time... I will be your friend but simply can't live without you knowing this... I like you a lot... A whole lot. I hope this doesn't change anything..."  
Hayner looked at himself in the mirror wiping his hands over his black t shirt trying to smooth out any creases.  
/Okay... That's enough practice I think... I'll tell him when he gets over... Out straight... That's it... If I slip up I'll just be like 'Roxas I like you okay?' Yeah.../  
Just as he sat back down on his bed the doorbell rang, his mother was already moving to answer it, his heart was already beating hard against his ribs.  
"Oh hello Roxas! How are you?"  
He could hear his voice answering his mother sweetly like he always did, he was like that though...  
Sweet, parents loved him, but he had a wild side...  
And even when on occasion their parents found out, Roxas would just smile and all would be forgotten...

"Hiya!"  
Hayner looked around.  
"Hey what's up?"  
"Nothing really... So what do you wanna do today? Make it good, start as we mean to go on!"  
Hayner sighed.  
"To what?"  
"Dude the summer holidays!"  
Hayner nodded distracted.  
"Uhm hmm..."  
Roxas sat on the edge of the bed and caught his gaze poking him in the shoulder.  
"What's wrong dude?"  
Blue eyes mesmerised him and he felt himself move forward gripping a confused Roxas by the shoulders.  
"I want to tell you something... But I'm too... Scared..."  
Roxas moved forward lowering his voice.  
"Dude you can tell me anything. What's wrong? Did you get some chick pregnant?"  
Hayner looked at him wide eyed.  
"Dude no!"  
/It's just three simple words... I could tell him... But.../  
"Roxas... Just..."  
"Just what Hayner?"  
"Kiss me..."  
Before he had even thought it through there it was...  
Partially anyway.  
Blue eyes shot open in pure shock.  
"WHAT!"

Hayner's eyebrows knitted together, he put his feet on the wooden floor and clasped his hands together, he couldn't look at Roxas right now...  
"I'm just feeling... A bit... Uhm... Confused... For a while now... And well you're my closest male friend... If you don't want to that's okay... Just... It'd help me a lot... And well it's not like I can go to a... That kind of bar and hook up there... I'm too young..."  
His eyes looked sideways at Roxas.  
The blonde teen just shrugged.  
"Makes sense I guess..."  
With that he grabbed Hayner and pushed his lips towards his.  
"Woah... What? Just like that?"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Well yeah... You just wanna try it right?"  
Hayner nodded.  
"Yeah... Sort of but..."  
"Well then... Come here..."

He sat closely by Hayner's side and pulling one knee onto the bed leaned in slowly placing his hand on the side of Hayner's face...  
Roxas whispered moving closer.  
"Is this better."  
Hayner nodded blushing slightly now.  
Their lips met, slowly Roxas thumb pulled down on Hayner's bottom lip making his lips part.  
He followed Roxas example slowly moving his lips in time with the other teen...  
He'd never really seriously kissed someone, except Ollette...  
But that was more of an experiment for both of them...  
So when he felt Roxas pushing him down onto the mattress he didn't know what to expect so he went with it...  
Ignored it when the blonde pushed his legs apart and got between them...  
Pushed his tongue into his mouth...  
Didn't say a word when Roxas' hands slid down his stomach.  
/Oh god oh god oh god.../

Hayner sighed out a little bit when Roxas lips left his own.  
Roxas looked down at him grinning.  
"Has that cleared things up for you?"  
Before he could answer Roxas hands were travelling to his crotch.  
"Uhm... Roxas...?"  
Roxas kissed his lips to silence him, his hands were groping through the thin material of Hayner's jeans pleasuring him ever so slightly..  
This slight bit of attention was making his back arch ever so slightly off the bed his mouth was open just sighing noiselessly into the air.  
"You like that do you?"  
"Yea... Yes!"  
Roxas stopped and smiled.  
"Chances are you like guys then..."  
With that he moved off and left Hayner lying on the bed looking desperately after him.  
"Roxas..."  
The blonde turned around.  
"Yes?"  
"I lied earlier..."  
Roxas cocked his head to the side staring at Hayner.  
"Oh yeah? About what?"  
Still panting slightly he said it.  
"I've liked you forever..."  
With that Roxas turned the key to Hayner's door.  
"W-What are you doing Roxas?"  
The blonde grinned.  
"Continuing."  
Hayner blushed as Roxas hand brushed his now obvious erection.  
"You do want me to keep going don't you?"  
His hand absently brushed Hayner again making him squirm.  
"Y-Yes... Please..."  
Roxas hand unzipped Hayner's jeans and grabbed his hardening length.  
"Wow you're seriously hard..."  
Hayner had been driven crazy by all this anticipation.  
"It's... Your... Fault..."  
Beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead Roxas just stared and grinned.  
"How long do you think I've suffered waiting for this Hayner? You there being the perfect little best friend, so good, so perfect... So innocent... So tormenting..."  
Roxas pulled Hayner's t shirt off over his head and threw it to the floor...  
"Now we're gonna have some fun..."  
The blonde pulled his belt off, took Hayner's hands and putting them above his head secured them to the headboard of the bed.  
Roxas now pulled Hayner's trousers and white boxers down around his ankles and then to the floor. He then sat between the blondes legs.  
"Now... Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you..."  
Hayner was now breathing quite heavily.  
"I... Don't... Care... Just... Please..."  
Roxas tutted.  
"Please what?"  
Hayner blushed and shook his head.  
"Tell me what you want Hayner... I'll do it."  
"Do whatever you want to me! Just touch me!"  
Roxas smirked down at his friend and grabbing his hard length slid his tongue over the top of it making Hayner cry out.  
"Shhh... Control yourself... Your parents are downstairs!"  
The blonde was flushed and panting hard.  
"Roxas I dunno if I can take this and stay quiet..."  
The devious blonde scratched the back of his head...  
"I guess they're gonna find out then..."  
With that he started pumping Hayner hard.  
"Mnh... Roxas..."  
The blonde looked highly satisfied with Hayner crying out his name...  
The sound alone was making him dizzy with desire.

Through the window he could see Hayner's family leaving and even waved goodbye to Hayner's mother, he knew they couldn't see Hayner, he knew they were now all alone for a little while...

"W-Who... Are... You... Waving... At?"  
Roxas still smiling innocently waved once more.  
"Good news... You can now be as noisy as you want."  
Hayner sighed louder and louder as Roxas teased and massaged him.  
"Untie me! Please! I beg you!"  
Roxas laughed.  
"Why should I?"  
"I... Need to... Touch you..."  
Roxas stopped.  
"Is that all?"  
"Please don't stop!"  
The blue eyes gleamed as Hayner squirmed underneath him.  
"Your mouth is so... Hot... Oh god I feel... Like I'm gonna... Explode... I can't take it Roxas... Let me touch you..."  
Roxas considered this for a moment while Hayner watched a single drip of his fluid run down from Roxas lip...  
This pushed Hayner over the edge.  
"Fuck me... Please fuck me!"  
The blonde pulled off his own t shirt, shoes and jeans...  
"Aren't you gonna free my wrists?"  
Roxas just licked his fingers and turning Hayner onto his side inserted one unexpectedly which made Hayner wince...  
"Oh god... Roxas... That hurts!"  
Roxas just smirked.  
"Chances are this probably will... But it'll get better... I promise."  
Hayner now felt a second finger enter him.  
"Roxas! I can't take it! It hurts! Please pull them out!"  
The light blonde teen shook his head and lowered his head down beside Hayner's.  
"You know you'll enjoy this... You know it'll feel so good when I make you cum harder than you've ever cum before..."  
Hayner's breath was quickening at the thought.  
"I just need more..."  
Roxas smiled.  
"Lube? Oh and I have condoms..."  
Hayner nodded.  
"Yes..."  
"I thought so... You're so fucking tight... I can't wait to see how it feels to be inside you..."  
Hayner blushed at the thought.  
/He's my best friend and suddenly we're gonna fuck?/  
Roxas returned from the bathroom with some lube and putting it onto his fingers slowly pushed his fingers in and out of Hayner who was sighing at the contact.  
"Does that feel good?"  
"Y-Yes..."  
"Are you ready for the real thing?"  
Hayner looked at Roxas.  
"I-I think so..."  
With that Roxas released Hayner's wrists and ripping a small silver packet open put the condom on and pulling him onto his lap pushed himself inside.  
Hayner could feel the pain of it and could feel himself reacting by tensing, Roxas seemed to love this.  
"Please just don't move yet it's... Painful..."  
Roxas was growing inpatient.  
"If I don't move then you'll never get used to it..."  
Hayner nodded slowly, then rested his head on Roxas' shoulder.  
Roxas pushed in fully, then pulled out again very slowly and repeated again and again...  
"Is it still hurting?"  
Hayner was sighing softly into Roxas shoulder.  
"No... It feels... Good..."  
Slowly but surely Roxas sped up and Hayner was getting louder.  
"Don't... Stop..."  
Hearing Hayner sound like that made Roxas heart hammer against his ribs...  
His restraint was seriously wavering and without a second thought sped up even more.  
Roxas was now going full speed now, Hayner dug his nails into Roxas' skin at the friction he was causing between their stomachs.  
"Ah... Ah... Roxas... That's too... I'm gonna..."  
His nails suddenly clenched harder drawing a few small drops of blood from Roxas skin, he threw his head back moaning so loud the neighbours could probably hear, he closed his eyes and released over their stomachs...  
Less than a moment later and Roxas was releasing deep inside Hayner.  
"Mnh... Ah..."  
A couple more thrusts and Roxas fell over on top of Hayner, his head was on Hayner's chest both of them were panting.  
"That was amazing..."  
Roxas nodded pulled out slowly and taking off the condom threw it in the bin and wiped Hayner's cum from his stomach with a tissue.  
"Well... That was interesting..."  
Hayner cocked his head slightly.  
"Have you... Done that before?"  
Roxas thought for a moment and nodded.  
"Yeah... A couple of times...You?"  
Hayner blushed and looked at the wall.  
"I know you haven't had a guy but you've done it with girls though right?"  
Once again Hayner didn't respond.  
Roxas took a step back and started gathering his things and getting dressed.  
"Uhm... I gotta go..."  
Hayner looked around at Roxas he was still lying on the bed, naked and Roxas was pulling his shoes on.  
"Uhm... Didn't you wanna do something today?"  
Roxas looked up distracted.  
"Uh... Yeah... But hey, we'll catch up another time."  
Hayner nodded feeling hurt...  
His eyes followed Roxas through his window as the blonde teen made a hasty exit.  
/I freaked him out... I'm his best friend... Why did I agree to that?/  
Sitting on the edge of his bed he wondered what to do now...  
And how he could possibly fix his relationship with Roxas.

Meanwhile Roxas was running towards his own house.  
/I just took my best friends virginity... I didn't mean to fucking... I just wanted some fun... Damn it.../  
His face was flushed as he ran.  
/How am I ever gonna be able to face him again? "Hey Hayner hows it going? Sorry I robbed you of your virginity... I was horny!" How the fuck can I fix this?/

Hayner got dressed and moved the condom from his bedroom bin to the bin outside...  
He had gone from feeling amazing not believing his luck, to feeling so shit it was hard to bear.

Roxas and Hayner had one thing in common that night...  
Both couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier that day...  
And better still, how the hell to fix it.


	2. Chapter 2

/I fucked Roxas... I actually got to fuck Roxas... And it rocked... Until the end... Oh why did I let him? I shouldn't have said anything then we'd be hanging out today just like normal... UGH! It was so great though... SHUT UP! Maybe if I text him? No... I should just leave it for today... Or at least if I'm gonna do something I should do it in person? Yeah... I think...?/

"Hey Namine... What's up?"  
"Oh hi Roxas?"  
"Yeah it's me how are you?  
"Oh I'm good! How did your first day of summer go?"  
"Ah it was great! It was alright... Nothing really happened... But anyway..."  
"Yes?"  
"I was wondering if you'd like to come over and like hang out... Watch a movie or something?"  
Namine giggled.  
"Roxas are you asking me to come over... Like a date?"  
"Uhm... Well..."  
"I get it... Well okay then give me an hour and I'll come over. Can't wait! Thanks Roxas!"  
"Uh... Yeah... Okay... Bye."  
Roxas put his phone back into his pocket.  
/Yeah Namine's hot... I'm gonna have fun tonight! This will be great and I know she's not a vir... Yeah not one of those.../

Hayner started getting dressed up for going over to Roxas house.  
/This... Is good... I wonder if he'll like this on me... SHUT UP! You've already fucked him okay so be satisfied damn it!/  
Still he stood in the mirror posing turning this way and that checking out his ass wondering if Roxas would wanna do things to it again and then mentally scolding himself for thinking it.

Namine walked up the driveway to Roxas front door and knocked.  
Roxas opened the door to Namine and looked her up and down she was wearing a short, low cut white cheesecloth dress, very hippy but very hot...  
He gulped.  
"Uhm do you wanna come in?"  
"I'd love to!"  
She walked straight into the sitting room and sat down on the leather sofa.  
"So what movie do you wanna watch?"  
"Ladies choice."  
Namine grinned and walked over to the dvd case and browsed through the titles.  
Hayner walked up to the door a few moments later and spied Namine in her tiny dress through the living room window.  
/Shit... Maybe I should just go... But... What if they're? And he... Cheated! Oh fuck!/  
Roxas spotted movement through the glass in the front door and setting popcorn and drinks down on the coffee table opened the front door.  
Hayner looked up at Roxas like a rabbit caught in headlights.  
"Hi Hayner... Uhm what's up?"  
Hayner couldn't form the words in his mouth.  
"I'll be back in a sec Namine just talking to Hayner..."  
Namine moved to the window and waved.  
"Hi Hayner!"  
"H-Hi Namine!"  
Roxas pulled the front door over so that Namine wouldn't hear them talk.  
"What is it?"  
Hayner made motions with his hands.  
"S-She... You? What the fuck?"  
Roxas shrugged.  
"What are you talking about?"  
Hayner took a deep breath.  
"Are you guys seeing each other?"  
"No, but even if we were what's that got to do with you?"  
Hayner felt something rise up in him.  
"Oh I dunno... Just the fact that you practically raped me of my virginity... I just wanted to kiss you and you pushed it far beyond that..."  
Roxas took a deep breath.  
"I didn't hear you say 'no' or 'stop' or 'please don't' all I heard was 'yes' and 'touch me' and 'that feels good Roxas' so what the fuck would you do huh?"  
Hayner looked at Roxas with hurt evident in his eyes.  
"I just thought you were different..."  
"And I was under the illusion that you just wanted to try it out with a guy and thought I was hot... But what's the real deal Hayner? Why are you acting so... Hurt?"  
Hayner went to turn away but Roxas grabbed his shoulders and pulled Hayner back to face him.  
"Dude what can I... Are you... Crying?"  
Hayner punched Roxas in the face and ran out of the driveway leaving a bewildered Roxas standing there.  
Namine opened the door.  
"Oh my God did he just punch you? Are you okay? What a total jerk!"  
Namine took Roxas' hand and led him back into the house to settle him down and get him some ice for the redness under his left eye...  
"Do you still wanna watch a movie?"  
"Sure, sounds good. But I'm just gonna go after him first see what's up... Is that okay?"  
Namine looked a little miffed.  
"Well if he punches you again don't say I didn't warn you!"

Hayner was running full speed down the street with tears streaming down his face.  
/Fucking stupid Roxas... Stupid men, stupid boys! Fuck them all!/  
Just as he was running across a road he tripped and skidded, a motorbike screeched to a halt mere inches from him.  
He was frozen to the spot as the biker pulled off their helmet.  
Blue not even shoulder length hair fell all around the man's face he was wide eyed with shock and concern.  
"Hey are you okay?"  
Hayner's mouth dropped open and he couldn't talk.  
/This man is... Beautiful.../  
"You must be suffering from shock... Jump on and we'll go get you a coffee."  
The blonde teen too shocked from the fall and then even more shocked at this gorgeous strangers offer of coffee took the helmet offered to him and climbed on leaving a breathless and rather worried Roxas looking on at the corner.  
/What is he doing and where the hell is that guy taking him?/

Now sitting comfortably across from this stranger in a nearby diner Hayner regained his ability to speak.  
"I am so sorry! I can't believe that happened! I am so sorry!"  
The blue haired man just laughed.  
"You were in quite a hurry! I'm just glad I hit the brakes on time! Would've been a shame to turn those looks into a pretty stain on the road."  
Hayner felt himself blush and almost choked on the coffee he was drinking.  
"W-What?"  
"I said it would've been a shame to turn those looks of yours into a pretty stain on the road."  
Hayner checked the comment for sarcasm and blushed.  
"Like seriously? Me?"  
The blue haired man grinned.  
"I don't see any other cute blonde guys sitting around do you?"  
He was right there wasn't even another blonde guy in the place...  
"Ha! Sorry I'm getting ahead of myself... I just sometimes lose the run of myself around attractive men... I'm Zexion."  
The blue haired God held out his hand to Hayner.  
"Hayner..."  
/Even his name is sexy... Zexion... And I've never seen a man look so good in leather... Tight leather... EVER.../  
"You can let go of my hand now Hayner... Or not... I don't mind."  
Hayner pulled his hand away unable to hold back a smile which was returned by Zexion.  
"So... Would it be waaay too forward to ask for your number? Or does this suffice as a first date?"  
Hayner grinned widely unable to hold back, took Zexion's phone and entered his number.  
Zexion did the same.  
/He's actually serious... Oh my fucking God hes entering his number... Is this for real? This guy actually likes me?/  
The blue haired man handed back the phone with a smile.  
"Man I never thought I'd be so glad to nearly run over someone!"  
Hayner laughed as they left and went to hand Zexion some money.  
"No no! Jeez man I nearly minced you! Let me pay for this... And one date... Then we'll be even and my conscience will be clear."  
Hayner nodded.  
"Okay sounds great!"  
Zexion pulled his helmet back on.  
"I'll be in touch with the details! You need a ride home?"  
Hayner shook his head.  
"No its okay thanks! I live like 5 minutes away from here..."  
The blue haired man looked almost disappointed.  
"Oh well... Guess I'll just have to wait until next time then! See you soon Hayner!"  
Hayner waved feeling elated and slightly wary of Zexion.  
/You don't just meet beautiful people who almost run you over everyday... Then have coffee flirt and arrange to go on a date with them... Right? And how the hell did he know I was gay anyway? I'll go on the date and see how it goes... Yeah.../  
He practically floated home with a big smile on his face.  
When he got home he was still smiling and went straight to his room.  
He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

*3 missed calls, 5 messages*  
/3 missed calls Roxas? 1 message from Zexion and 4 from... Roxas? What the fuck?/  
He checked the one from Zexion first.  
*I'm so sorry I was so forward back there you probably went home thinking I am some kind of maniac! I hope you'll still consider that date though! ;-) C u soon? Zexion*  
Grinning to himself he replied.  
*I can't say the whole maniac thought hadn't crossed my mind, but I still wanna go on that date without a doubt. :-) C u soon x*  
With that done he checked the messages from Roxas.  
*Hayner what the hell are you doing? I just saw you get on a bike with some dude and drive off! Are you insane?*  
/Delete./  
*Hayner this is stupid! Stop ignoring me!*  
/Delete./  
*Please at least let me know where you are... I'm getting worried...*  
/Delete./  
*Okay Hayner, I'm really worried now... I just wanna know that you're okay. I'm sorry I upset you.*  
Feeling a little bit of pity for Roxas he hit reply.  
*I'm fine, I'm home now.*  
Almost as quick as the text was sent his phone started ringing.

"Hello?"  
"Hayner?"  
"Yeah?"  
"What the hell were you thinking? I just saw you fall then drive off with some guy!"  
"Yeah he brought me away and we fucked for hours and hours in a field under the stars! It was blissfully amazing and he's HUGE! It hurt like hell... At the start!"  
"That's not funny."  
"Even if that did happen it doesn't concern you."  
"My friends safety is my concern!"  
"Fine... We went for coffee."  
"So you got on some weird guys motorbike and went for coffee?"  
"Yup that's basically the gist of it..."  
"Can't you see what's wrong with that?"  
Hayner sighed.  
"I guess it was pretty irresponsible... But it all worked out fine in the end..."  
"You're lucky he didn't rape and kill you!"  
Hayner sighed happily.  
"It's not rape if both people agree to it... And well I certainly wouldn't have fought it..."  
He could hear Roxas growl down the phone.  
"Well isn't it good for you that you wanna fuck strangers?"  
Hayner snorted.  
"At least if I did it I'd mean it and not just do it cause I'm horny."  
"Well maybe if some people were honest about their intentions that wouldn't happen would it?"  
"If you didn't cop that I was a virgin then you're an idiot. Everyone knew! I was teased about it in school for fuck sake!"  
"Yeah and then you get one taste of it and suddenly you're a total slut!"  
Hayner smiled to himself.  
"I'm a total slut!"  
"Yea... What?"  
"I'm a fucking whore Roxas!"  
"Huh?"  
"Remember that guy on the motorbike from earlier?"  
"Uhm yeah?"  
"I'm going on a date with him soon..."  
"WHAT!"  
"Yeah... I'm gonna let him fuck my brains out! I could see his body through the leather motorbike gear... Man I can't wait..."  
"Stop it."  
"I'm gonna take every inch of him and fucking love it."  
"I said stop it."  
"He's gonna make me cum so hard!"  
"STOP IT!"  
Hayner went silent at the sudden raised volume at the other end of the phone.  
"I-I didn't mean to shout Hayner..."  
"Why did you ring me?"  
"I wanted to make sure you were safe."  
"Well now you know I'm safe and sound and you can go back to fucking your blonde gal pal. Can't you?"  
"She left ages ago..."  
"Wow that was quick you really do attract the sluts don't you Roxas?"  
"It's not like that at all..."  
"So are you going to say that you didn't fuck her?"  
"Okay I did but..."  
"You did, which means when we did it, it was obviously just because you were horny... You only wanted me cause you couldn't have me..."  
Hayner's voice broke on the last few words.  
"Let me explain Hayner..."  
"I really can't talk to you right now, okay? This is the second time you've upset me today... I was perfectly happy with myself before I got this phone call... You called me a slut and made complete shit of me, I feel worthless now... Are you happy Roxas? I feel like crap so please just do me one kindness today and leave me alone..."  
"Just please let me explain..."  
"Goodbye Roxas."  
"No wai..."  
Hayner hung up the phone and lay on his bed tears were running down his face.  
/I can't believe he used me... That bastard... He's off fucking everyone... How could I have been so stupid.../  
Hayner's phone rang again...  
And again...  
And again...  
Until he turned it off...  
And eventually fell asleep.

Roxas awoke the next day with his phone still in his hand, Hayner's number dialled into it.  
/What the fuck have I done? I shouldn't have freaked out... I can't let him go on that date... What if they get together? I'll have no one.../  
He dialled Hayner's number again but only got the answering machine.  
"Hey this is Hayner, my phones off or my batteries dead. Leave a message! Thanks."  
"Ugh!"  
/Maybe if I go to his house and tell him how I really fee... No... God, I don't... No./  
He jumped up, changed his clothes quickly and ran downstairs.  
"Mom I'm going to Hayner's!"  
"Okay hun!"  
He practically ran the whole way...  
The weather was warm, so he didn't even need a hoody.  
Roxas had a good feeling in his stomach, like butterflies as he approached Hayner's street...  
/Hayner I'm sorry about how I talked to you last night... Can't we be friends again? Hayner you're the best fuck I've ever had please will you talk to me? Hayner... I think I might actually lov.../  
He stopped dead outside Hayner's house, his eyes spotted a motorcycle...  
/What the fuck?/  
He walked straight up and knocked on the door, his mother answered.  
"Hi, uhm is Hayner here?"  
"Oh yes, he's upstairs with that nice Zexion boy..."  
"Oh I see the one who drives the motorcycle?"  
"Yes..."  
Roxas looked troubled.  
"What is it Roxas?"  
"Motorcycles are terribly dangerous aren't they?"  
Hayner's mother looked upstairs and spoke quietly.  
"I know... And I wouldn't want Hayner going on one, but well they're friends..."  
Roxas nodded.  
"Just friends?"  
Hayner's mothers eyebrows furrowed.  
"You don't suppose...?"  
Roxas shrugged.  
"Well... I dunno... I just kinda thought with the leather and all... It was kinda suggestive..."  
Hayner's mother nodded.  
"I suppose you're right... I won't keep you go on up."  
Roxas nodded and made his way up the stairs but stopped dead outside the door and listened, he could hear Hayner giggling a little and peeked through the keyhole.

"You're so cute... Come here and kiss me."  
Hayner crawled across the bed and kissed Zexion playfully.  
"So what do you wanna do today?"  
The blonde rolled over and laid down with his head on Zexion's lap looking up at him.  
"I'd be happy just to sit here and stare at you all day..."  
Hayner blushed.  
"I don't think I'll ever get used to you telling me things like that..."  
Zexion smiled.  
"Good cause I don't think I'll ever get bored of seeing you blush like that!"

Roxas was watching them and getting angrier by the second, burst through the door while they were in the middle of kissing...  
Neither Zexion or Hayner shifted they just kept kissing and when they eventually pulled away Hayner jumped up off Zexion at the sight of Roxas.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"What's HE doing here?"  
Zexion piped up.  
"Uhm do I know you?"  
"No but I watched you pick my friend up off the road the other night... What the fuck are you playing at?"  
Zexion stood up.  
"I happen to like Hayner and what business is it of yours if he likes me too?"  
Roxas looked at Hayner...  
"How could you?"  
"How could I what? You and I Roxas we're just friends get that through your thick skull... Let's go Zexion suddenly I feel like going out..."  
The blue haired teen nodded and grabbed their helmets off the floor and gave Roxas one last look before he followed Hayner downstairs.  
Roxas ran down after them, pushed Zexion aside and stopped Hayner by the shoulders.  
"Don't do this to me..."  
Hayner pushed Roxas hands off his shoulders.  
"I'll do what I want Roxas, we're not together, we're not we or us... We as a whole are nothing... Understand, we'd never ever work... You're far too selfish..."  
Hayner climbed up onto the bike behind Zexion, which then kicked into life and sped off leaving Roxas standing in his friends garden all alone...  
/To think... Two days ago I would've done anything to get away from here... Now I'd to anything to go back and change that.../


	3. Chapter 3

Roxas started the walk home defeated...  
/I should've just taken the chance with him when I had it... What the hell? How could I be so stupid.../  
Just then Roxas phone beeped...  
*Keep away from him, he's happy with me and I'm happy with him.*  
/From Hayner? I guess he's happy... It would be selfish for me to get in the way of them being together.../  
As he walked home heavy clouds gathered over head and it started to rain...  
Slowly he walked as the rain washed over him, it was like every step he was taking was making him realise more and more the mistake he had made.  
He walked and walked rain soaking his skin making him heavy with his thoughts and the consequences he had to face due to selfishness...  
Roxas eyes were on the ground as he walked.  
/I have to do something... Get out of here find myself somewhere else get away from him... Get away from them... For my own sanity.../  
He headed towards home alone and sure of his next move, he had friends away from here, Sora lived on Destiny Island...  
He could run for it...  
This could actually happen and he'd never have to think about either of them again...

Zexion pinned Hayner to the door of his apartment kissing him.  
"Mnh... I'm getting..."  
"Getting what...?"  
"... Aroused..."  
"Mmm... That's good... I can help you sort that out can't I?"  
Hayner held Zexion at arms length...  
"I-I'm nervous..."  
Zexion kissed Hayner's neck whispering.  
"Why are you nervous is it your first time?"  
"N-No... Second..."  
Zexion pulled back and raised an eyebrow.  
"Who had you first?"  
Hayner blushed looking at his shoes.  
"I'd... Well... Ah..."  
Zexion's eyes narrowed and both hands rested either side of Hayner's shoulders.  
"Him?"  
Hayner winced.  
"W-Who?"  
"Roxas."  
"Uhm... Yes."  
"When exactly did this happen?"  
Hayner looked down.  
"A couple of days ago..."  
Zexion's voice became very loud.  
"So you used me, to get back at him? Is that it?"  
Hayner shook his head now frightened.  
"No no! I met you and thought you were amazing I swear!"  
Zexion's face was mere inches from Hayner's face now.  
"Are you telling me the truth?"  
"Y-Yes! I swear!"  
Zexion suddenly backed off.  
"I'm so sorry! I can't believe I just lost it like that... Forgive me... I shouldn't pressure you into sex if it's not what you want... Lets just go and see what happens... Okay?"  
The blue haired teen held out his arms to a very shocked Hayner, who accepted, unsure of what had just happened...  
Slowly they kissed...  
Zexion unzipped his jacket and threw it onto the floor.  
Hayner suddenly felt himself fall backwards onto the couch...  
Zexion's hands all over him...  
His lips and tongue discovering places Hayner was unaware could bring so much pleasure...

"Hey Sora... What's up?"  
"Hey Roxas! How are you?"  
"I'm okay... Well actually... I was gonna ask you something..."  
There was a pause.  
"What's wrong Roxas?"  
"I can't really imagine that you'll say yes to this so I'm just gonna come right out and say it..."  
"What is it Roxas?"  
"I was wondering... If you'd let me come stay with you for a while..."  
Roxas' voice got very heavy at the end of the sentence  
"...Yeah that's cool with me dude... I just wanna ask one thing."  
"Shoot."  
"What are you trying to run away from?"  
"Nothing... Well... Uh... It's... A long story..."  
"I've got time... What's wrong?"

Slowly Zexion's hands found their way down his stomach Hayner found himself closing his eyes...  
Sighing just like before, hands running over his body, the heat just like before...  
When Zexion pushed inside him slowly, it didn't hurt as much as last time.  
Moans escaped his lips as Zexion grabbed his hips and quickened up...  
"Yes... Yes... Harder!"  
As Zexion obeyed and got rougher with him it started to hurt, his fingers dug into Hayner's hips and Hayner's finger's started gripping the material of the couch and he started crying out...  
Zexion's hand reached down and started pumping Hayner in time with every thrust.  
/I'm gonna.../  
"Mnh..."  
His body shuddered and his eyes closed tightly shut as he came hard across the material of the couch...  
"Ugh! Roxas!"  
Zexion stopped dead and pulled out, put on his boxers and stood in front of Hayner.  
"What did you just say?"  
"I-I..."  
Zexion's fist hit Hayner hard across the face sending him to the floor.  
"Please! I'm sorry I don't know what came over me!"  
Once again Zexion stood over him with sheer hate in his eyes...  
"I'm sorry Zexion! Please!"

"So that's it really... I was always okay with being bi... It was fun and mostly no strings attached and then all of a sudden I screw him and that's it, I'm fucked and cannot decide what I wanna do... Then next thing I know I think I'm in love with him..."

"No I'm sorry I promise I won't say his name ever again! Just let me go! Give yourself time to cool down!"

"I actually think I'm in love with him Sora..."

"If I let you go, you'll run and never come back... So before you run back to HIM... I wanna give you something to remember me by..."

"Sounds like you have your mind made up Roxy! All you gotta do is go and tell him right?"

"Please! No stop! Please I'm sorry I won't run just stop!"

"It's funny... I've never thought this before, the reason I wanted him there at first is so that I wouldn't be lonely... But now it's something different... I don't want him to be sad..."

"Stop! It hurts!"

"Scared..."

"Please! Please! I thought you cared about me!"

"I never wanna see him cry..."

Tears fell from Hayner's eyes as Zexion brutally thrusted inside him again and again...

"I guess I just want him to be happy..."

"Please... Please... Zexion..."

"Which is why I wanna come live with you... I have to back off so that he can have his life..."

Zexion's nails drew blood from Hayner's shoulders as he delivered his final few thrusts and came deep inside him...  
Hayner's eyes were full of tears as he felt Zexion's hands leave him...  
If he found the will to walk...  
The will to get out of here alive, he would be okay...

"So that's why I wanna come stay with you..."  
"Well that sounds okay with me... Stay for the holidays anyway... Just make sure you're doing the right thing..."

Hayner slowly painfully pulled his clothes on and limped towards the door...  
/Please... Just let me get away from here.../

"I am... I have a feeling that this is the right thing to do."


	4. Chapter 4

Hayner heard water running from the bathroom and took his chance.  
He limped towards the door, opened it and made his way out into the corridor, he was going as quietly as he could and listened out for the water running so that he knew it was safe to proceed.  
He took a few steps out into the corridor of the apartment building leaving the door open so he could listen to the sound of the shower and know when to run for it.  
He took a few more steps towards the stairs, then the water stopped running...  
Out of no where he felt his limbs burst into a sprint despite the excruciating pain he was in.  
He ran down one hallway and turned a corner at the end hiding in a doorway, he heard footsteps coming closer and closer...  
/Please don't find me... Please don't find me.../  
Hayner watched as a shadow cast across the wall opposite him...  
He had to suppress a gasp and stop himself shaking...  
Shock had gotten him this far, but now realisation was setting in and he was wondering how much further he could get before Zexion caught him.  
Shaking he watched as the shadow slowly receded...  
He stayed there for ten minutes and listened to make sure he was really gone and it was safe to move.  
When he was sure he was alone, he limped down the rest of the corridor trying to keep quiet...

Roxas pulled a suitcase out of his closet.  
/There's no way he'll miss me... I've officially fucked everything up... I couldn't blame him even if he hated my guts right now.../  
Folding up t shirts and putting them into his suitcase he felt a great weight descend upon him.  
/It'll pass Roxas... Once you get out of here and away from his influence you'll be alright... And more importantly... He'll be alright./

Hayner continued down the corridor looking for a way out...  
/Anything an emergency exit, an elevator, stairs please make me find something before he finds me.../  
Realising that he might actually die in this situation he backed into a doorway, took out his phone and quickly typing sent Roxas a message.  
The minute it was sent he looked up and down the corridor and started moving again.  
After about twenty minutes of seemingly endless and terrified searching he came across an elevator and pressed the buttons in hope that when the doors opened Zexion would not be waiting on him...

As Roxas was packing his last few bits and pieces into his case his phone beeped.  
/Hayner?/  
*Roxas I'm so sorry, I should've never treated you the way I did, I just want to let you know I've liked you for ages, years in fact. Lately, I've even thought maybe, I was falling for you... I just want to tell you this... In case I don't get out of here. I think I love you...*  
/He might love me? Get out of what? What's he talking about?/  
Roxas dialled Hayner's number.

Hayner was limping into the lift when his mobile phone started ringing.  
/NO NO! SHUT UP!/  
Footsteps were approaching fast Hayner pushed the buttons and whispered into his phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Hayner are you okay? What's wrong? I got your message."  
"I-I was wrong about Zexion... He's coming after me! I have to go Roxas I love you!"  
"Don't hang up don't you dare hang up!"  
Hayner put the phone back in his pocket and tried to hide in the lift.  
Zexion appeared at the door of the lift just as the doors closed.  
"Hayner open the doors!"  
"Hayner what the hell is going on?"  
Roxas voice shouted from Hayner's pocket and he took it back out.  
"Zexion's gonna kill me! He's crazy, I'm terrified I don't know where I am! I'm trying to escape but he knows where I am and I'm so scared..."  
"He won't kill you if he tries to hurt you fight back!"  
"I can't I'm in too much pain and I'm so scared Roxas..."  
"He's hurt you?"  
"Yes... I'm at the bottom floor now... The doors are opening..."  
Hayner put the phone back in his pocket and Zexion ran through the doors by the lift and approached the doors quickly.  
"So you were just gonna run for it were you Hayner?"  
"I-I..."  
Roxas was still shouting from Hayner's pocket.  
"Hayner kick his ass! One kick to the nuts and you'll be able to run for it!"  
Zexion reached into Hayner's pocket and took the phone out.  
"Hello, Roxas..."  
"What the fuck are you doing to Hayner you twisted bastard!"  
"Hayner? Well me and Hayner had a lovely time today, the little slut let me take him... Twice."  
"Zexion I swear you lay a fucking hand on him and I will personally hunt you down and kill you..."  
"Ha! You? You don't even know where we are Roxas..."  
Hayner noticed a sign up near the reception desk...  
/Oblivion apartments.../  
"Roxas I'm in the Oblivion apartments!"  
Zexion dropped the phone and Roxas could hear the thump of something being hit... Hard.  
"Ugh... Roxas help me!"  
"Hayner I'm coming!"  
Zexion stamped on the phone breaking the screen into hundreds of little pieces.

Roxas looked at the phone in his hand Hayner's had cut off...  
He dialled a number into his phone.  
"Hello? I need the address to The Oblivion Apartments."  
"Its on 25th street..."  
"Top or bottom?"  
"Its on the corner between 25th and 26th street would you like the phone number?"  
"No it's fine thank you!"  
Roxas hung up the phone and ran outside, his thoughts were going crazy, his heart was thumping against his chest like it was going to burst...  
He ran to the main road and put his hand out for every car that was passing...  
"Oh come on! Fuck sake I need help here!"  
A taxi pulled in and he jumped in.  
"Thank you so much, I need to get to Oblivion Apartments as quickly as possible! It's an emergency!"  
The taxi driver turned to face him.  
"There's a speed limit you know?"  
Roxas took a fifty out of his pocket and handed it to the driver.  
"How about now?"  
"Hold on kid..."  
The taxi driver floored the gas pedal and the back of Roxas' head hit the seat.

Hayner was lying on the ground he could feel Zexion pulling him by one of his legs back towards the elevator.  
/If he gets me back up there God knows what he'll do to me.../  
With his other leg he aimed a kick to Zexion's chin and sent him backwards to the floor.  
Hayner dragged himself up off the ground and made for the door but Zexion dragged him back into the reception area, throwing him against a marble wall.  
"Agh..."  
He could feel himself getting dizzy...  
But he would not let himself fall unconscious...  
He would not be a victim again.  
Zexion got closer and closer and brought his lips down on Hayner's.  
Hayner kissed him back as a distraction then brought his knee up to Zexion's groin fast, only to have his head dragged back by Zexion who had a fistful of his hair in his hand.  
"Did you really think I'd fall for that?"  
He dragged him by the hair back towards the elevator.  
"I hate you! I wish you had of ran me fucking over! At least then I would've experienced nothing but good sex and died happy!"  
Zexion dragged Hayner's head up to look him in the eyes and spat the words out of his mouth.  
"And what exactly do you mean by that comment Hayner?"  
He was gasping with the pain he was in now but still managed to scream out what he wanted so badly to say.  
"You're... Not... Half... As... Good... As... Roxas!"  
Zexion punched Hayner in the face, busting his lip open and sending him to the floor.  
"Still feel that way Hayner?"  
The blonde smiled defiantly, rolled over onto his stomach and gave Zexion the middle finger.  
"You're shitty in bed Roxas is more of a man than you'll ever hope to be you big fucking rap..."  
A foot hit Hayner in the stomach and made him lose his breath.  
"You just shut the fuck up Hayner, let's just wait and see if your little boyfriend comes eh? This'll be fun... Twice as fun if he actually shows up..."  
Zexion smiled evilly down at Hayner, something up Zexion's sleeve gleamed in the light and Hayner gasped.  
"What's wrong huh? Scared for your little boyfriend?"  
Zexion put his foot on Hayner's chest and leaned down close to Hayner's face.  
"You should be scared..."

Roxas taxi pulled up outside the Oblivion Apartments, he unfastened his seatbelt and got out, quickly thanking the driver.  
He ran through the doors of the building and looked around reception.  
/What? Where is he?/  
"Roxas!"  
The blonde teen turned around to see Hayner with a knife to his throat being held by Zexion.  
"What now Roxas? Huh? You can leave and pretend this never happened... Or you can watch him die... I just want to be with him... Want to make him happy... And until you came along we were!"  
Zexion pressed the knife a little harder into Hayner's throat making him gasp.  
"Don't hurt him! Please... Just... If you let him go... I'll do anything!"  
The blue haired man loosened his grip on Hayner's hair considering this...  
/What could I make him do... That would totally turn Hayner against him?/  
Taking his chance Hayner moved his neck away from the knife and bit hard into Zexion's hand, the blue haired man threw Hayner against the wall knocking him unconscious.  
"You bastard! What the hell?"  
Zexion picked the knife back up from the ground.  
"Listen you... When he wakes up you are to tell him you don't love him and that you never will..."  
"What?"  
"Tell him that you don't love him."  
Roxas slowly dialled 911 into his phone and kept it inside his pocket.  
"What if I don't?"  
Zexion pulled Hayner up off the ground.  
"Hello emergency services..."  
"If you don't then I'll kill him... And you."  
"You're bluffing... Completely."  
Slowly he drew the knife lightly along Hayner's inner arm drawing blood.  
"Not only will I do it I can make it look like he did..."  
"STOP! I'll do as you say!"  
The woman on the end of the phone listened carefully taking notes...  
"I need a trace on this call now!"

Hayner slowly stirred and dizzily looked around the room.  
"So you'll do it then..."  
Roxas could see Hayner waking up from the corner of his eye and very clearly said;  
"I'll tell him whatever you tell me to say..."  
Hayner realising something was going on pretended to still be unconscious.  
"Good..."  
Slowly Hayner 'woke up'.  
"Ugh... My head..."  
Zexion dragged Hayner up from the floor.  
"Let me go!"  
The blue haired man looked over at Roxas giving him the sign to say it.  
"Hayner... The only reason I came here was to tell you..."  
/Even though this is fake... It still feels wrong.../  
"To tell you... I don't... I could never..."  
Zexion held the knife back up to Hayner's throat.  
"Love you..."  
Hayner's face dropped...  
/Is this for real? Or did Zexion really make him say that?/  
"See Hayner? He doesn't love you... Never has never will... Not like I do... I love you more than anything..."  
This was making Hayner sick to his stomach.  
"I see that now... I'm sorry Zexion... For everything."  
Slowly he moved his lips to meet Zexion's all the while pretending it was Roxas...  
Feeling like he was betraying himself...

Roxas went up behind Zexion and grabbed the knife instantly bringing his attention away from the kiss.  
The blonde threw the knife across the room and grabbing Hayner's hand ran out of the reception area into the street where there were tonnes of squad cars.  
Zexion ran into the street after them all three of them were stopped in the street by different cops.  
"Your name please?"  
"Roxas, this is Hayner... He's just been badly assaulted by that man... His name is Zexion."  
"Second name?"  
Roxas looked at Hayner who shrugged.  
"I dunno..."  
"Physical assault... Anything else?"  
"He held Hayner against his will... Threatened to kill us both and held Hayner up with a knife..."  
The officer nodded and took notes.  
"Anything else?"  
Roxas shook his head, Hayner took a step forward and nodded.  
"Rape."  
Roxas eyes grew wide as he looked over at his friend.  
In less than a few minutes, everything had gone from scary dangerous life threatening and fucked up, to safe and secure...  
And turned right back around, just as quick...


	5. Chapter 5

The officer nodded, took notes, gave Hayner a sympathetic glance and then informed the ambulance staff that Hayner would have to be taken in to have evidence taken off him...  
Roxas couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight, it was like he was someone looking in at this twisted scene and then suddenly he was back in his own shoes, able to speak...  
"Why didn't you tell me... He... He... Raped you?"  
Hayner looked at his feet.  
"I-I don't know, it's still sinking in... And I just wanted out of there... When I sent that message I thought... I thought I was going to die Roxas... I didn't want to leave this world without you knowing how I felt okay? I can't imagine any pain worse than keeping that in for eternity..."  
The ambulance staff took Hayner into the back of one of the ambulances, he looked at the terrified face of his friend, walked over to Zexion who was still standing around unrestrained chatting to two officers and punched him as hard as he could in the nose.  
Zexion fell to the ground and skidded backwards several feet before stopping in a pool of his own blood which was pumping from his nose.  
Two police officers grabbed Roxas restraining him.  
"Believe me Zexion, I hope they lock you up because if they don't that broken nose will be the least of your worries! I'll see to it that you won't get away with what you did to him!"  
He had to be led away and kept in the back of a car until he calmed down and they had Zexion out of the vicinity.  
"I hope you're not taking that rapist prick to the same hospital that Hayner's in... In fact don't answer that, I'll only go looking for him, just take me to Hayner please..."  
The brown haired officer nodded and headed off towards the hospital...

"They're gonna tell my parents what happened Roxas..."  
Roxas wanted to hold Hayner so badly, but they were still taking evidence and he couldn't touch him during the process.  
He could see the tears form in Hayner's eyes as he relived the story again and again...  
The shock was wearing off and the realisation was coming close to 100%...  
"Okay, well you can go take a shower now if you'd like... Due to the extremity of the case have a room with an en suite bathroom and bed prepared for you as we'd like to keep an eye on you for a few days..."  
Hayner nodded as Roxas led him to his room, for some reason the closer they got to the room, the harder Hayner's heart was beating...  
"I-I don't know if I can have you in my room Roxas... I don't know if I can handle it..."  
Roxas nodded.  
"Alright, well that's okay if you want to be left alone I understand..."  
Hayner's heart beat even faster...  
"NO! Don't leave me alone! You can stay in the room... I'd rather that than be left alone..."  
Roxas shrugged.  
"I can stay outside the room if it makes you feel better?"  
Hayner shook his head.  
"No, I'm scared he'll come here and finish what he started... Stay in the room with me, please?"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Okay, I'll sleep on the chair, or I'll make a bed on the floor..."  
Clearly calming down now Hayner seemed to settle a little.  
"I guess this fucks us up too huh?"  
Roxas shook his head violently.  
"Why would it interfere with us?"  
"Well I... Might be freaked out by very little physical... Uhm... Shows of affection... So uhm that one thing is out of the question... I don't think I could possibly handle it..."  
The blonde put his arms slowly around Hayner's neck and just held him as Hayner broke down in tears while being held in Roxas' arms and pushed him away.  
"Right when I get what I've wanted all these years someone comes and fucks it all up! Why did he do that to me? I HATE HIM!"  
He was on his knees on the floor of the corridor, Roxas walked over to him and put his hand on Hayner's shoulder...  
"This hasn't fucked it up... I'm here, I care for you and most importantly you're safe now... I won't let anyone hurt you again..."  
Slowly Hayner let Roxas put his arms around him and help him up off the ground.  
"I won't touch you for the rest of our lives if that's what it takes to make you smile again Hayner..."

"They have enough evidence for Zexion to be put on trial... They said you don't even have to be there, you can do it over video link if you don't want to appear in court..."  
Hayner nodded looking out the window.  
"I don't know if I can do it Roxas..."  
"Dude what he did to you is unforgivable and you shouldn't let him away with it... What if he does it to someone else?"  
"What if he does it to me again? He knows where I live! Then I'll never get away from it... Roxas, everywhere since it happened has been like a prison for me... My own body feels like a prison... Can you even understand what that's like? My home, my room, this kitchen, it all feels like I'm trapped here, like he'll always know where I'm hiding..."  
Hayner's eyes were staring off into space glazing over...  
He moved towards the cooker and quickly pulled out a knife and before Roxas could take it away it was held to his own throat...  
"You're all the same Roxas... He wanted to fuck me, he did, you wanted to fuck me, you did... All in the pretence of love or lust or whatever... What does it matter? I'm just an easy slut..."  
"Hayner you've got it all wrong! At one stage yes we didn't understand each other and my reasons for the first time we... Made love, were wrong... I was in denial... But that doesn't change what I'm feeling now... That doesn't change that I care..."  
Hayner shook his head near hysterical now.  
"I just can't believe that anyone would or could ever love me now... They never fucking will!"  
He sliced the back of his forearm with the knife, stopped in shock of the sudden sharp pain and dropped the knife on the tiles in the kitchen.  
Hayner sank to the floor holding the cut sobbing.  
"Why is it that this is the only thing that makes me feel better now?"  
Roxas slowly crept up beside him and wrapped his arms around Hayner's neck.  
"When you say things and do things like that, you know you hurt me too... I love you Hayner..."  
"You don't fucking mean that! Get off me!"  
Roxas held him tightly and refused to move Hayner stopped fighting and sank down into Roxas' arms in tears.  
"I'm afraid he'll come back Roxas... I have nightmares about him... I wake up and he's over me laughing... Cuts me... Threatens me... Every time I think it's real and every time it's like I have to start my recovery all over again..."  
Roxas held Hayner tightly.  
"Dreams can't hurt you Hayner... I'm here..."  
"It seems so real though..."

It took months, but as things do things slowly but surely returned to normal...  
Hayner's sleeping patterns improved when his family moved house, Roxas still stayed with him all the time...  
They returned to school in September and Hayner started counselling...  
Soon even the nightmares became a thing of the past, Hayner even started smiling again now and then...  
And with Zexion now behind bars he was beginning to relax and even do well in school again...  
He was finally getting his life back on track, he was even letting Roxas stay in his room with him now and then...

"Roxas?"  
"Uh huh?"  
"Would you like to... Sleep beside me tonight?"  
Roxas looked over wide eyed.  
"Are you sure you want to do that?"  
Hayner sat up in his bed.  
"Yes... If I become panicked... I'll let you know."  
Roxas got up off the floor and slowly crawled in beside Hayner.  
They lay side by side for a long time...  
Then Hayner laid his head on Roxas chest...  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yes... I'm fine..."  
His arms wrapped around Roxas chest and for the first time in over a year Hayner was hugging him...  
"Hayner?"  
"Y-Yes?"  
"I... I love you..."  
"I-I love you too..."  
"You know I think that might be the first time you've let me say that to you without telling me I don't... And the very first time I've heard 'I love you too' coming from your lips..."  
"It's always been there... It was just clouded by other things... I'm sorry for all the times I said I didn't believe you... You're the one person who never ever gave up on me..."  
Roxas smiled and was slightly surprised when Hayner reached up and kissed him gently on his lips.

Slowly but surely things change...  
The world turns round...  
And sometimes things turn to shit pretty fast...  
It can take years to rebuild the things we once took for granted...  
But when we do...  
We appreciate it even more and realise it was worth every heartbreaking minute of our life it took to rebuild it...  
Because I loved him...  
I found a way...  
And because I still do love him...  
I'll stay by his side...  
Forever.


	6. Chapter 5 Alternate Ending

The officer nodded, took notes, gave Hayner a sympathetic glance and then informed the ambulance staff that Hayner would have to be taken in to have evidence taken off him...  
Roxas couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight, it was like he was someone looking in at this twisted scene and then suddenly he was back in his own shoes, able to speak...  
"Why didn't you tell me... He... He... Raped you?"  
Hayner looked at his feet.  
"I-I don't know, it's still sinking in... And I just wanted out of there... When I sent that message I thought... I thought I was going to die Roxas... I didn't want to leave this world without you knowing how I felt okay? I can't imagine any pain worse than keeping that in for eternity..."  
The ambulance staff took Hayner into the back of one of the ambulances, he looked at the terrified face of his friend, walked over to Zexion who was still standing around unrestrained chatting to two officers and punched him as hard as he could in the nose.  
Zexion fell to the ground and skidded backwards several feet before stopping in a pool of his own blood which was pumping from his nose.  
Two police officers grabbed Roxas restraining him.  
"Believe me Zexion, I hope they lock you up because if they don't that broken nose will be the least of your worries! I'll see to it that you won't get away with what you did to him!"  
He had to be led away and kept in the back of a car until he calmed down and they had Zexion out of the vicinity.  
"I hope you're not taking that rapist prick to the same hospital that Hayner's in... In fact don't answer that, I'll only go looking for him, just take me to Hayner please..."  
The brown haired officer nodded and headed off towards the hospital...

"They're gonna tell my parents what happened Roxas..."  
Roxas wanted to hold Hayner so badly, but they were still taking evidence and he couldn't touch him during the process.  
He could see the tears form in Hayner's eyes as he relived the story again and again...  
The shock was wearing off and the realisation was coming close to 100%...  
"Okay, well you can go take a shower now if you'd like... Due to the extremity of the case have a room with an en suite bathroom and bed prepared for you as we'd like to keep an eye on you for a few days..."  
Hayner nodded as Roxas led him to his room, for some reason the closer they got to the room, the harder Hayner's heart was beating...  
"I-I don't know if I can have you in my room Roxas... I don't know if I can handle it..."  
Roxas nodded.  
"Alright, well that's okay if you want to be left alone I understand..."  
Hayner's heart beat even faster...  
"NO! Don't leave me alone! You can stay in the room... I'd rather that than be left alone..."  
Roxas shrugged.  
"I can stay outside the room if it makes you feel better?"  
Hayner shook his head.  
"No, I'm scared he'll come here and finish what he started... Stay in the room with me, please?"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Okay, I'll sleep on the chair, or I'll make a bed on the floor..."  
Clearly calming down now Hayner seemed to settle a little.  
"I guess this fucks us up too huh?"  
Roxas shook his head violently.  
"Why would it interfere with us?"  
"Well I... Might be freaked out by very little physical... Uhm... Shows of affection... So uhm that one thing is out of the question... I don't think I could possibly handle it..."  
The blonde put his arms slowly around Hayner's neck and just held him as Hayner broke down in tears while being held in Roxas' arms and pushed him away.  
"Right when I get what I've wanted all these years someone comes and fucks it all up! Why did he do that to me? I HATE HIM!"  
He was on his knees on the floor of the corridor, Roxas walked over to him and put his hand on Hayner's shoulder...  
"This hasn't fucked it up... I'm here, I care for you and most importantly you're safe now... I won't let anyone hurt you again..."  
Slowly Hayner let Roxas put his arms around him and help him up off the ground.  
"I won't touch you for the rest of our lives if that's what it takes to make you smile again Hayner..."

"They have enough evidence for Zexion to be put on trial... They said you don't even have to be there, you can do it over video link if you don't want to appear in court..."  
Hayner nodded looking out the window.  
"I don't know if I can do it Roxas..."  
"Dude what he did to you is unforgivable and you shouldn't let him away with it... What if he does it to someone else?"  
"What if he does it to me again? He knows where I live! Then I'll never get away from it... Roxas, everywhere since it happened has been like a prison for me... My own body feels like a prison... Can you even understand what that's like? My home, my room, this kitchen, it all feels like I'm trapped here, like he'll always know where I'm hiding..."  
Hayner's eyes were staring off into space glazing over...  
He moved towards the cooker and quickly pulled out a knife and before Roxas could take it away it was held to his own throat...  
"You're all the same Roxas... He wanted to fuck me, he did, you wanted to fuck me, you did... All in the pretence of love or lust or whatever... What does it matter? I'm just an easy slut..."  
"Hayner you've got it all wrong! At one stage yes we didn't understand each other and my reasons for the first time we... Made love, were wrong... I was in denial... But that doesn't change what I'm feeling now... That doesn't change that I care..."  
Hayner shook his head near hysterical now.  
"I just can't believe that anyone would or could ever love me now... They never fucking will!"  
He sliced the back of his forearm with the knife, stopped in shock of the sudden sharp pain and dropped the knife on the tiles in the kitchen.  
Hayner sank to the floor holding the cut sobbing.  
"Why is it that this is the only thing that makes me feel better now?"  
Roxas slowly crept up beside him and wrapped his arms around Hayner's neck.  
"When you say things and do things like that, you know you hurt me too... I love you Hayner..."  
"You don't fucking mean that! Get off me!"  
Roxas held him tightly and refused to move Hayner stopped fighting and sank down into Roxas' arms in tears.  
"I'm afraid he'll come back Roxas... I have nightmares about him... I wake up and he's over me laughing... Cuts me... Threatens me... Every time I think it's real and every time it's like I have to start my recovery all over again..."  
Roxas held Hayner tightly.  
"Dreams can't hurt you Hayner... I'm here..."  
"It seems so real though..."

It took months, but as things do things slowly but surely returned to normal...  
Hayner's sleeping patterns improved when his family moved house, Roxas still stayed with him all the time...  
They returned to school in September and Hayner started counselling...  
Soon even the nightmares became a thing of the past, Hayner even started smiling again now and then...  
And with Zexion now behind bars he was beginning to relax and even do well in school again...  
He was finally getting his life back on track, he was even letting Roxas stay in his room with him now and then...

"Hayner! Lazy bones get up! It's time for school!"  
Roxas ran up the stairs to his friends bedroom and knocked on the door.  
"Hayner! Come on!"  
He swung the door open to find his friend on the bed...  
Pale as death...  
Bedsheets smeared with blood...  
Written across the wall in what looked like blood were the words...  
*If I can't have him... No one can.*  
Roxas approached the bed and tried to find his friends pulse.  
/No pulse... No nothing... He's dead... Hayner's dead.../  
Holding his friend he wailed as tears made their way down his face.  
Hearing Roxas wailing and sobbing made Hayner's mother run up the stairs when she found the reason for Roxas screaming she fell to the floor with her hand over her mouth...  
On the bedside table Roxas found a small note...  
*I warned you to keep away from him... Did you listen? No... Now look what you've made me do... He's dead Roxas, neither of us can have him now... And it'll all your fault...*  
Roxas looked out the window sobbing...  
He turned the paper over in his hand and noticed something else written very small upon the opposite side of the page...  
*Guess what Roxas? You're next...*


End file.
